marketing advice

You need to increase website traffic. It's the oxygen for your digital marketing lungs, whether you're a small online business or massive.

Without more website traffic, your business would slowly suffocate (sometimes not so slowly).

Breathe deep and easy, my friend!

Below are 25 smart ways to increase your website traffic.

Note these are best ways to improve traffic now, not two or three years ago, and likely not two or three years from now.
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1) Make Sure You Have a Good Website

Duh, right?

But surprisingly, many organizations here in 2017 work hard for strong traffic… but they still have websites that look like they were created in 1997. Created in a hurry in 1997, to be more specific.

Working hard to pull strong traffic into a crappola website, though, is kind of like working hard to get people to visit your restaurant… where mice are dodging the dust balls rolling across the floor.

You have to have a solid website.

It doesn’t have to be huge in terms of volume of content -- that comes with time -- but the content you do present needs to be well-written and engaging.

And the design you present it within needs to be clean and attractive. (And it all needs to be responsive, see further below.)

The great news is that today, here in 2017, it is easy to build a professional site without breaking the bank.

Website builders make it simple and (ridiculously) inexpensive to build your “Wow!” website quickly, and attractively.

I highly recommend Weebly for small businesses and individuals, and if you are a solo entrepreneur definitely check out SiteSell.



2) Have a Strong Presence on Two Social Media Sites

If you want to gain attention and increase website traffic, go where the people are.

And the people are on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Facebook alone has 1/7th of the world’s population – over a billion people – signed up to it!

Both by engaging people directly with great content, and by the value that links from these sites to your website provides, time spent building your presence on social media is time well spent.

And relative to many other efforts, it doesn’t take an overwhelming amount of time and energy to build a following on – and traffic from – social media sites.

(It does take smarts, though, such as knowing the best times to post on social media.)

Here’s a very IMPORTANT tip, though:

If you’re a cow, your eyes light up at the sight of other cows.
 
If you’re a grouse, your eyes light up at the sight of other grouses.
 
But here’s the deal: I’ll bet you’re not a cow, or a grouse.
 
I’m guessing you’re a person.
 
Did I get that right?
 
If so – and even if your hobby is cows or grouses, and your eyes light up somewhat for them -- what your eyes light up most for is other people.
 
We’re social animals, so this is especially true for us humans.
 
Visually what we’re drawn to most is other people, and particularly the eyes of other people (bangin’ booties and ta-tas notwithstanding.)
 
So if you’re really lazy and you’re not going to read any further in this article than this, there’s your general answer: the single best type of picture you could use on your

I hate it when people interrupt me after I interrupt them while I was talking! 

Okay, they're saying something, but I've got something clearly more important to say in regards to whatever we're talking about... so important, in fact, that it's worth interrupting them for and not being interrupted for when I interrupt!

What the hell is wrong with these people, people?

When someone really irritates you, DO NOT react by punching them in the face!

Instead, step back, take three slow deep breaths, and remind yourself YOU are in control.

Then step forward and punch them in the face.

You'll be more accurate, and they won't expect it.

Now do your part to make the world a better place, or at least to keep the assholes from bothering you, and SHARE this timeless wisdom via Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter or whatever you're into.

And again -- if you market anything, and listen, we ALL have something to market -- plus you love to LAUGH, subscribe to my (free) newsletter. It's awesome. 

- Love, Buster

- Buster Guru

Now this has little to do with brilliant marketing advice, I know.

But then indirectly it does, because a) good diversions are inspiring, especially if they make you laugh, which is why I like to divert a lot; b) let's be honest -- part of the dream of making it big via your marketing, at least for many of those of the male persuasion, is attracting and dating younger women. 

So why do older men date younger women... for real?

Now this is NOT the reverse ... why younger women date older men. Everyone knows the 3 reasons younger women date older men:

3) Younger men are too busy playing video games.

2) Younger men all think they're great in bed, but they actually are not. Older men are good in bed, at least relative to younger men (if they can get it up and keep it up, of course.)

1) The money, baby!

But now... 

Click the image below to find out why older men really date younger women...

 
 
 

And here they are if you prefer to read:

12) Younger women are more physically fit and have more energy, so they are better able to help older men when they fall face-first on floor from a heart attack or stroke.

11) Younger women are much easier to lie to.

10) Younger women actually think older men's Harleys and Shelby Mustangs are cool and not a desperate cliched attempt to avoid being as old and close to death as they are. (Or at least younger women act like they think its cool in case they can marry him and inherit the toys as soon as he has a heart attack.)

9) Younger women are more likely to put up with his shit longer. That's because she knows she hasn't got that long, relative to with a younger guy, to put up with his shit before he croaks and she gets his Shelby Mustang and other stuff.

8) The sex seems better. That's because a younger woman makes an older man feel like he is much better in bed than he really is, and that's because a younger woman hasn't had that much sex yet to compare his crappy performance to.

7) On a proportional basis, younger women tend to look much hotter than older women. And that makes him look better, like a nice watch.

6) Younger women's female friends are more likely to be hot. And you never know.

5) Younger women's sisters are more likely to be hot. And you never know.

4) Younger women's moms might even be hot. And you never know.

3) Older women's daughters might be hot. And you never know. And you really don't want to, even if you think you do.

2) Younger women find older mens' 2-bedroom condos impressive, because it's more than they've got. Older women find older mens' 2-bedroom condos pitiful, because they got the 5-bedroom house in their divorce.

1) He's going to have to put up with all her her shit whether she's younger or older. So she might as well be younger.

BONUS REASON: Younger women and older men are roughly at the same maturity level.

(MARK YOUR CALENDARS! The updated end-of-the-world date isJanuary 1, 2017, according to the level-headed folks in The Sword of God Brotherhood.)

Without over-thinking it, here are the 10 things I decided I (really) wish sinkholes would swallow right away. My heart goes out to the victims of course, but still.

Afterward in the Comments area, I'd love to hear what YOU wish massive sinkholes would swallow too.



10) Congress
Maybe it's obvious, but it's still true. I did have to pause for a moment on this one, though, because The Capital is a really nice and important building (it's the building that houses Congress, for those of you who were high during history class.) But the trade-off -- all of the members of the current Congress, both right and left, being swiftly and completely swallowed along with the building they're all in -- just seems so worth it.


9) Abby Lee Miller and the "Dance Moms" TV Show
If you don't know who Abby Lee Miller is, you are much better off for it. If you have never had to suffer through an episode of the TV show "Dance Moms," you will live longer, because each episode has been proven to suck the damned heart and life out of you. Here's the basic plot-line of every episode: very large, very mean older woman terrorizes a bunch of little girls in leotards into dancing as well as grown-up professional dancers or they will have to commit suicide 7 years down the line. Come, very large sinkhole, and swallow Abby Lee and her horrifying show with it.


8) AT&T
In an industry plagued with horrible customer service, AT&T tops them all. Or bottoms them all (?) Trying to accomplish anything working with AT&T "customer service" already feels like 9th circle of Hell, so it just makes sense that a massive sinkhole should swallow it that deeply.


7) Whole Foods
Because it's the most pretentious place on earth. Everyone who shops at Whole Foods believes they are doing something good for humanity just by shopping there. They're saving whales, preventing unwanted pregnancies, helping struggling Costa Rican farmers, and ending gang violence just by overpaying for hemp yogurt. And so they don't actually have to do anything more than shop at Whole Foods to be a great person. Oh, and because they shop at Whole Foods they all believe they're "artists" too. I hope a bunch of massive sinkholes swallows every single one of them rapidly and simultaneously. But not while I'm shopping there, of course.


6) The Academy Awards
I don't know how a sinkhole can swallow an awards show, but previous sinkholes have seemed pretty creative so I'll bet one can find a way. And I hope it does.

Because first of all, does anyone out there actually believe that out of the 21,000 or so movies made each year those that win some sort of Oscar are really the "best"? Or could it have a little somethin' to do with politics? Like who knows who? Like which film team has the bucks to push for an award? And like who blew who days, months, or years before?

Second, most actors are very annoying people, which is why they took to acting as if they are other people in the first place. What kind of person actually sits through the typical three- to sixteen-hour Oscars show watching these annoying people act (rather badly) like they're gracious and wonderful people versus figments of the public's desperate imagination?

Third, the live music and the hosts and the jokes all suck. Always.


5) Abercrombie & Fitch / Aeropostale / Hollister
Remember the kids back in middle-school and high school trying REALLY HARD to be cool? Remember that period you went through where you were trying really hard to be cool too?

Well Abercrombie & Fitch, Aeropostale and Hollister (which are all pretty much the same store, minus the labels) are the meccas for those trapped in that little Hell.

And as those who made it out of that Hell know (but only in retrospect), when you are trying so hard to be cool is when you are at your uncoolest. Dude.

But the real reason all AbercrombieAeropostaleHollisters need to be swallowed by sinkholes immediately is because there are (way too) many adults in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond who did not make it out of that stage -- they are still trying way too hard to be cool, and it is the saddest thing on earth -- and these stores are also the mecca for those lost souls.

Swallow all these stores and maybe these "grown-ups" will realize it's time to give up, you're never going to be cool, and it's time to start shopping at Wal-Mart. Or at least Target.


4) McDonald's Bathrooms
I should probably wish for all parts of all McDonald's to be swallowed by giant sinkholes because they are so popular and, no matter how they try to spin it, their food and drink simply is an early death sentence for so many. But their food is also so crappy-delicious. They know the evil they are doing, but they do it so well. So I will just wish for the sinkholes to swallow their perpetually disgusting bathrooms. If that doesn't occur, the suits over at McDonald's corporate headquarters outside Chicago really ought to put a policy in place requiring their bathrooms to actually be cleaned. Hell, at least occasionally.


3) Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of North Korea
No matter how many of your own people you torture, Mr. Kim... no matter how many of your own people you starve and repress, Mr. Kim... no matter how many nuclear bombs you fantasize about launching at the happier countries of the world, Mr. Kim... and no matter how many uncles you have that you execute, Mr. Kim... you are still just one horribly ugly man with a super-sized Napoleon complex and one ridiculously awful haircut who means nothing to the rest of the world, except for the mix of repulsion and laughter you provide us.

And hey, massive sinkhole, you can take Mr. Kim's sidekick, Dennis Rodman, too. Sadly that great rebounder was smacked by Karl Malone's elbow one too many times in his green (or orange, or blue, or red, or all of these) head.

Suck the both of them under.

 

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